Hello! I accidentally took last week off. “Accidentally” might not be the right word, because I was busy! Last Friday, I coordinated a school event that involved me hand-scheduling 626 middle school students into three sessions of camp-like activities per child! I finally faced my nemesis, Microsoft Excel, learned how to mail merge to make schedules for every kid and rosters for every adult!
Because I’m unwell and felt that I had something to prove for Reasons, I even made every staff member a little bag of candy that was space-themed (our school mascot is the Astros) because my Virgo rising shines brightest when I have the chance to best someone I don’t particularly enjoy.
It was exhausting, but the day turned out well, I’ve heard zero thank you’s (normal for working in a middle school and with teachers), but more importantly, I’ve heard only one complaint, and as anyone who works in the public school system will tell you, that is like a bajillion rainbows and unicorns and thank you’s beamed directly into my heart.
Anyway, that’s where I’ve been, I’m glad to be back. I hope you’re having a good week!
Reading
I’m currently in the middle of Black Tickets, by newly-minted Pulitzer Prize winner Jayne Anne Phillips and I’m enjoying it immensely. In some ways, Phillips reminds me of Dorothy Allison, with her ability to communicate violence in a way that is visceral but not shocking, and the way her characters exist on the fringes of society. Phillips writes about these people in a way that feels vital, but doesn’t engender sympathy or pity for them, which I appreciate. I’m looking forward to exploring more of her catalog and reading her newest book, Night Watch, that won the Pulitzer.
I also really enjoyed this thought-provoking piece in Esquire by writer Emma Copley Eisenberg, about how the “right” and “wrong” ways to be queer are changing the shape of fiction:
“Years ago, ‘queer’ catapulted beyond being a synonym for LGBTQIA+ to become a political identity oriented around the pursuit of collective liberation from white supremacy, labor exploitation, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of oppression. But now, for youngish city-dwelling progressive folk, it seems that the word has also come to mean a code of moral conduct. In the absence of religion or any laws worth trusting or an economic system that meets our basic needs, whether and how we live by the ethical codes of being a ‘good queer’ has become one of the dominant ways that lefty Americans judge each other’s behavior—from how we date and fuck to how we socialize, work, consume, and spend our free time.”
I am currently writing an essay about how this feels for me, as a person who came out at 30 after being socialized as a straight white woman for my entire life, and how I often feel like my look/politics/identity are “not queer enough” for my queer friends but too queer for my straight friends. I appreciated someone else calling out this phenomenon of right/wrong ways to be queer.
Also, Emma’s book, Housemates, was released yesterday and I cannot wait to dive in!
Writing
I am planning on spending my summer working on a draft of a novel. I know, this is an ambitious declaration (please note that it’s solely because I am still waiting on any god damn response about my proposal and slowly losing my mind) but I am excited to be distracted and have a project to throw myself into that is different than my nonfiction work. I have had this book rattling around in my brain for a few years, and I am excited to spend time with these characters that haunt me.
I’m planning to kick it off by participating in the wonderful Jami Attenberg’s #1000wordsofsummer, which starts on Saturday, June 1st. Anyone else?
Recommending
If you don’t spend time with me in person, something you might not know about me is that I don’t drink alcohol. I have innumerable reasons for doing so, none of which are particularly interesting: I hate the way I feel hungover, drinking any amount after 40 makes me feel like I’ve been run over by a truck, addiction runs in my family and I’ve seen the damage it causes, I enjoy being clear-headed, and I have a severe vomit phobia so being at a bar isn’t really my deal. Most people who know me are used to me happily sipping a Diet Coke (and of course some people get weird about it but rest assured, I’m not not drinking AT anyone — I’m just genuinely not interested in drinking).
I’ve occasionally ordered mocktails at fancy dinners and such, but last week, Amy (I know I have some new readers, so FYI, my wife’s name is also Amy, I’m not speaking about myself in the third person!) and I met a friend at a little bar-appetizer spot and they had fabulous mocktails with Seedlip non-alcoholic spirits. I had a No-jito, and it was SO GOOD. Mojitos used to be my favorite summer cocktail, and I’d forgotten how much I loved them.
I ordered a bottle of Seedlip’s Garden 108 for No-jitos and a bottle of their Notas de Agave to make non-alcoholic Ranch Water, another former summer favorite. I’m looking forward to making a few summer favorites to drink by the pool. If you’re looking for an alternative, I’d recommend the same! Even if you’re not quitting forever, it’s nice to have an alternative when you feel like it!
Amy, ugh, I need you to publish all your books already. Even the way you review other people’s work is gorgeous: “Phillips writes about these people in a way that feels vital, but doesn’t engender sympathy or pity for them”
I’ll be curious to see what you think of Night Watch. I know everybody’s taste is different but I saw her do a reading from it at a book festival in February and I had a visceral reaction that I had to get out of that room. It might have been her voice or the way she read it, but I actually had to get up and leave. Fortunately I was on the back row and so was able to slip out easily. TBH I was floored when it won the Pulitzer.