Reading
Yesterday, I had more free time than I’d anticipated in the afternoon (!!) and I sat down to read (!!!) and not be on my phone (!!!!). Please clap! Anyway, I picked up Jami Attenberg’s book, 1000 Words, expecting to read a bit and then return to striving for Queen Bee on the NYT Spelling Bee, but instead, I sat and read it straight through. I’ve been a fan of Jami’s work for a long time, and I’ve participated in nearly every iteration of #1000wordsofsummer and this book was such a delight. It’s full of short pep talks from Jami and so many other writers I admire. I think it’s the most delightful and encouraging book for writers at any phase — I talk with so many people who tell me they wish they could write or they’ve always had an idea or they don’t know where to start, and what I loved about 1000 Words is that you get so many different perspectives on things that start and keep us writing. It isn’t 1000 iterations of “butt in chair, just write every day”: it’s about how we stay connected to our work when sitting in the chair isn’t possible, about squirreling away little moments to write, and about doing the work because you’re loving and honoring yourself as opposed to punishing yourself into a writing routine. I can already tell it will be a go-to gift for writer friends and people who I know are eager to write but feeling unsure.
Writing
I used to write a blog called Just A Titch, and on it, I wrote a series of posts called Things That Changed Her Life. They were always short narratives about moments that meant a lot to me, and I wish I still had many of them, because I still think of that series so fondly. I’m going to adapt it for the purposes of this newsletter, and talk about things that have changed my writing life. Not every week, but occasionally — including today. So, without further adieu…
Things That Changed My Writing Life #1: Morning Pages
I know. I know. Morning Pages are such a basic thing to discuss. For the uninitiated: writer Julia Cameron, who wrote The Artist’s Way, recommends Morning Pages as the most important creative practice a person can have, no matter what artistic medium you work in. The gist is this: you sit down first thing every morning and you write three pages of whatever is in your brain. This could be your dream, your thoughts about something that happened yesterday, the argument you keep having with that one guy in your head, whatever it is. You just sit down, and basically clear the slate so that your brain has room to think and process whatever is taking up it’s brain space so that you can move into more artistic endeavors.
For years, I eschewed Morning Pages. I thought that they were silly and that the time should be spent doing more serious writing. It felt tedious. I felt too precious about it, by which I mean that I didn’t want to sully a beautiful notebook with my stupid morning brain crusties.
Then I discovered 750Words.com and a practice was born. 750Words is a site that digitizes your morning pages practice. Instead of hand-writing them, you type 750Words (about three pages). They give you little badges for doing it and there are challenges and communities. They also analyze your pages for mood, the words you’re using most frequently, and whether you’re focused on the past/present/future. For me, typing my words helped me get over my fear of ruining a notebook with stream-of-consciousness morning thinking.
I’ve been writing my whole life (truly, I wrote a series of short stories that sound dangerously close to Sweet Valley Twins starting when I was six) but to me, my Serious Writing started when I started using 750 Words and writing every day. It made me see myself as A Writer, because writing was part of my daily habits. I don’t actually believe that you have to write daily to be a writer (though, I regret to inform you that I write every single day), but it helped writing take up space in my brain, heart, and routine, which helped me start writing more and differently.
Currently, I’m back on writing my morning pages by hand (in a fancy notebook, though I am about to change it up and buy some crappy $2 notebooks so I can truly be free) but I love knowing that 750Words is there, waiting for me, whenever I’m ready. I have no doubt that there will be a time when I need the buttons and encouragement and community to keep me writing, and it’s exactly where I will turn.
Ranting
For well over a year, I’ve been considering switching to a “dumb phone.” I have read every “Break Up With Your Phone” article and book. I have turned my screen to grayscale and deleted apps and all of the things one can do to turn their phone into something more akin to the Nokia from the days of yore. Here’s the thing: I also have ADHD and a brain that needs dopamine, and few things give it to me like Instagram, TikTok, and the NYT Games. Also, I like Instagram and TikTok and doing the crossword. But I also know and can feel the ways that the Internet infiltrates my brain: I rarely go a day without wanting to buy something, I don’t like feeling my brain influenced by the algorithm, and while I know that many people have been blessed with the ability to just ignore certain apps, I was not born with that ability.
I miss my pre-internet, pre-Instagram, pre-algorithmed brain. I miss phone calls (please, don’t take away my millennial card), I miss going somewhere and not just viewing it through what will make the best Instagram pic, and I miss not feeling like I am constantly aware of The Discourse and feeling pressure to craft a hot take on everything, or post things to prove I’m on the right side of history.
On the other hand, I love seeing my friends’ lives. I love sending and receiving stupid little memes. I love voice memos and Spotify and being able to use safety features when I’m in a rideshare or whatever because being a woman in this timeline continues to be hellish. I know that writers “need a platform” and “social media helps” and I do love so many of the things I read and see every day online.
I want both/and. I want it to be easy to toggle between the two. I want to reclaim brainspace but I also desperately need a way to do that. Why is this so hard?
If you’ve found a solution, please, I beg you, pipe up and tell me what it is. I am all ears (unless I’m looking at my phone).
Recommending
I love notebooks, and I am picky about paper. I recently ordered a Totebook to experiment with for the notebook I carry around, and as a last-minute purchase, I added a Panopad. While the Totebook is fine, I am obsessed with the Panopad, which is basically a large Post-It made of grid paper. It’s the perfect size for taking notes or making lists or doodling and the sticky back means you can hang it up or (my favorite) stick it to your laptop and take it with you. I highly recommend it — they come in a two-pack, and are a perfect addition to your desktop if you, like me, have a need to try out every kind of paper possible.
Goddamn it. I'm going to be so mad at you if this is what finally convinced me to start morning pages lol
As a fellow ADHDer who needs a "platform" to do her work effectively, I also struggle with the phone thing. Last year, I asked all of my followers what they do to help them have a better relationship with social media/their phones. I compiled their responses and posted them to Threads: https://www.threads.net/@shohrehdavoodi/post/CwaxLPzJ20s.
From everyone's suggestions, I started using the Opal app on my phone. It's an annual subscription, but I have found it worth it. I used to sit and scroll on my phone every night before bed instead of reading and sit and scroll in bed in the morning first thing upon waking up instead of getting out of bed, and I really wanted to kick those habits. I have blocks set up in Opal to keep me off of certain apps for certain hours so that I can't engage in that scrolling anymore, and it's been super effective.
My work schedule changes every day since I'm freelance, so I haven't had as much luck with using a consistent block during working hours. Instead, I've started using Do Not Disturb mode on my iPhone much more liberally and I have that set to only allow notifications from my partner and from our doorbell/cameras.
It's a forever work in progress, but I do feel less out of control and miserable than I did last year.